The Walls

Whispering comes through the walls

The walls, the walls

They hear, they talk, they whisper

Superficial.

Their judgments are forever superficial

I pretend they don't hurt me

They hurt

They burn

They strike me like a poisonous snake

I will never let them see the scars

They will never know how much they hurt me

If only I could watch myself, see how my expressions change. I want to get to know myself, this new person that I've become.
Wouldn't we all?
Is it normal that I know someone I met two months ago, better than I know myself? Is it normal that I can solve his problems, but when it comes to mine I'm clueless.
There's a fine line between finding yourself and losing yourself. It's the single wrong turn, that one wrong choice. It is that one moment, and you don't even know you're lost.
Lost.
Lost, lost, lost...
A soul without direction
Failing to feel connection
To people, to places
Unable to put names to faces
New, new, new
Everything feels so new
Fresh, clean
Falling apart at the seams

...to be continued.

Assessing the Damage

I like to look at myself in mirror, 

Call it...assessing the damage.

I like to catalog how big the bags under my eyes are...

the way the darkness spreads all the way around...

the frown lines...

the dry skin...

It's funny to think that one can see pain written all over the face,

the frown that can't truly be hidden with a smile.

The sadness in the eyes as they laugh,

It's always there, present.

The sadness never does go away. It is like a cloud that is perpetually above.